✨I AM DIVINE MASCULINE ✨

I love it when i come to the realisation of something... like you know it... but it suddenly hits you on a deeper level & you get that reassuring YARSSSSSE!!

I AM A DIVINE MASCULINE

i know you might be saying to yourself... 🙄 lay off the drugs Cils...

😂😂😂😂😂 Right? But hear me out, it might make you wonder if youre carrying any anscestral or karmic Honour.

Ok we all know CIL... youd either know her as..... the wild out of control girl whod party til the sun came up, or the one you feared because she was so unpredictable & it made you anxious & timid.

Heres why im not that version of myself any longer..

I wanna let you know.. the person you are on the inside doesnt always “match” your energy signature, this is why.....

I dont like hurting people, i dont feel people should have to deal with aggressive or violent behaviour but some people have it heavily weighing in on their shadow... it follows them around & you cant escape it.. doesnt matter what you do, keep to yourself... you still attract the same situations... you try to questions yourself why you keep being put in these situations that you dont seem to ever get away from..

I WAS A ROCK BOTTOM... SUICIDE... I WANTED OUT..

I wont go on how sad i was, cause its not actually about being sad.. My CORE wound was - I HAD NO SELF WOTH, NOVALUE - I WAS WORTHLESS.. & thats how dark of a headspace you have to be in to attempt such a daring act of desperation. Truth is no one ever really wants to die, they just want the shit to stop & the sad part about any suicide victim is that theyve given up HOPE. Once HOPE is gone... so is the LIGHT.

So my lasting impact i made on society was, the image that “I am a toxic violent person”

I always questioned WHY i had to put up with all this shit.. until I survived my attempt to take my own life & this is what iv been doing since...

~some would say this is how you can make up for what you did~

Ya ever hear the story about suicides??? That if you take your own life you reign in Hell. (You become a slave in heaven)

I can tell you... this is absolutely TRUE. After my suicide attempt... i could see Demons, ghosts, shadow people, tall men, aliens, demonic beasts, this list goes on.. & im not going to tell you about the troubling internal voices.

I HAD ENTERED HELL... ALIVE.

this is approximately 2008, & i started “googling” mental health & trying to identify what all these apparitions meant & who they were. HOLY FUCK... by 2012 i had a relapse & decide that I was never going to escape the world that I lived in.. so i was unhappy with myself & my environment. I was so desperately helpless & hopeless that in the process of absolute destruction.. i prayed... i cried out & pleaded for help.

THIS IS WHEN I GOT ANSWERED.

Of course i didnt know it at the time, but God heard me... so he sent me the hardest mission iv ever had to do.. this is called “the dark night of the soul” I received my initiation.. & i was granted a “spiritual” “elder” to “teach me lessons” troubling thing at the time was, i didnt know that my “helping spirit” was a DEMON. I knew it was a women, i could fell her presence... the thing about her presence is she was absolutely terrifying... Her first introduction left a lasting impression on me.. ABSOLUTE FEAR. It sacred me so much that i was to terrorfied to sleep for 3 days. I became scared of the dark. Which to me was guttless because i was once fearless, i was afraid of NOTHING..

Over the next few years, i was visited by this demonic spirit.. each time more terrorfing than the next.

But by this stage id started to work on myself, my firat stwp was realising that i was so unhappy with myself i had turned TOXIC.

I decide i didnt like who i was anymore & i didnt like the person id become while i had met my daughters father.

I noticed id say horrible things under my breath as people walked past.. so with a huge amount of balls & self judgement, i assessed my own level of BITCH & felt sorry for myself because i was INSECURE, OTHER PEOPLE THREATENED MY EGO.. i had a realisation that i never knew how to SELF REFLECT. & i revealed truth after truth, after truth.. I studied psychology, human development & narcissistic behaviour was my major... i then learnt that i was a victim of narcissistic abuse..

id had my light taken from me from the man i had started a family with. It took me 2 years then to work up the courage to leave him permanently.

After years of intense investigation I had identified who this demonic woman was... i had come face to face with Lilith; the mother of all Demons.

She is that scary that id spent many nights going to bed with the light on. You can laugh, cause its kinda funny when you hear me say it like that, but im trying to keep the story as middle minded as i can get without projecting blame here there & all over the place..

So my investigations & dedicated studies made me reach my conclusion that she was called

THE NIGHT HAG.

& because id studied psychology i knew that she was actually an archetype of the psyche. I know that sounds like a load of bullshit ranmbling. But an archetype of the psyche is programmed templates that are written into our subconscious. Our brains run off these internal programmed templates, tgought the thing about this was, you werent supposed to be able to identify that...

Scratching your head at me, we arnt supposed to be able to see the programs that are stored in our unconscious mind..

they are templates that we subconscious play out but are slightly altered with individuality of each person.. its why we say to one another “awwww that story sounds like what im going throught except...”

we are playing out the same template but with different added variables.

HOW WAS I ABLE TO KNOW OR HAVE PERSONALLY MET THE CHARACTER THAT THESE TEMPLATES ARE PROGRAMMED AFTER!!????

I self reflected that hard 😂

This is the stage of & ver long battle through SHADOW WORK..

I had actually activated the whole interior design of the SHADOW ARCHETYPES.

I had to play every fuckin character thats associated with this “wheel”

Back to my spiritual work, i had been alerted to TWINFLAMES. Most people have the wrong idea about what twinflames are, i spent some time fighting with people over what it truely meant to be a twinflame.. most people have a

Grandiose fantasy that your twinflame is your romantic true love sent from the heavens.... your souls match..

Theres some truth to that, but i can assure you it has nothing to do with the love bombing definitions you read about.

A twinflame is your mirrored consciousness.. its not a 3D romantic reationship grounded in the physical... its a spiritual mission you clowns, it takes place in the spirtual world.. hence why the person who you think is your twinflame thinks youre absolutely nuts.. they cant see your perception at the spiritual level... right now, i all truth.... its all in your head..

So upon meeting my twinflame id already been alerted to this type of soul mate.. so when we met i knew he was gunna be someone special in my life.

I can go on & on & tell you how i fell in love, but ill tel you the part that you dont hear all these “posers” talk about..

I was at the house of my soul mates (ill call him that til i explain his true purpose) we happen to be discussing the Yin Yang, the Masculine & the feminine elements that make up this spiritual logo. I remember being introduced to it when i was 10, of course ag the time i had no idea what it was, i just remember it coming out on all the clothes & back then i knew it as “T&C” which stood for “Town & County” so i wasnt phased two fucks about it basically.

Id spent a number of years working on my masculine & feminine sides of my personality, cause i heard on the spirtual notice board tbat BALANCE was the key to happiness.

So when i met my soul mate i was already on my twinflame path. Then i met him in real life.

The real mystery of the twinflame relationship is they are your MIRROR. They act as a polar opposite version of you, but mirror back to you what you want. Its a very complex & life altering relationship. Ok so without putting my masculine up on a pedestal. Although i think very highly of him, I always will.

At one point in our spiritual discussion, I remember looking at him & experienced the first feelings of “attraction” to him.. i now described to you what it was like after 6years of studying & learning i began translating, him..

I remember on this first initiation with my soul mate id asked him “WHAT ARE YOU” see he engaged me, he got my undivided attention, he was a mystery & i had to work him out.

For me a man has to have a unique quality to them, I prefer & usually admire a quirky part to them they’re oblivious too.

So he was quirky & playful, mysterious & when i looked into him, i was actually experiencing BLISS. I knew then that he was what i wanted... he was the man i wanted to be with forever. & when an Aquarius “imprints” on someone they kinda truely mean forever, we are very choosey about who we truely let in. Were all about the long term relationship. This is why most aquarians remain single..

Upon looking at this man in awww of my utter admiration, i was looking into Divine light... FUCK SAKES you say... i know right, id asked him what he was because he wad like an alien to me, but it intrigued me & i was what one friend called it “WEZ FUCKED” 😂

This is why i spent 6 intense years of studying what a twinflame was, i saw a light in him & it made me feel like i was home.

Want me to spoil the story here???

All my life id never fitted in ANYWHERE, i was always the loner, the outsider the one who dod have friends just enjoyed being alone in my own little world.. see us aquarias live in our heads alot. We technically live in parallel worlds.. we have the real world, & then our world.. this is why we keep people at a distance, we dont let you into “that” universe unless youve passed our little tests. These are unconscious to most aquarians but we do question why we keep people at a distance when all we want is to have people around us all the time.. we love our friends but enjoy our quiet time.. we live our friends so much that i actually suffer the loss of a friendship, as if it were an emotional relationship with the opposite sex. I know, very cancerian of me i know.. i feel alot 😂

So the rough image of my persona is who i had to be on the outside to protect me on the inside.

On another level i also have a rather unique intense energy signature that comes with being me.. alot of people are intimidated by me or dont like me cause im so intellectually disconnected from connecting my emotions to Everything...... i am what you would call blunt.. im not heartless, i just say things how they are & the truth really does hurt.

This became an issue for me because peoplesay they want to hear the truth, & when they do, they are triggered & then you hit their ego & then they start with the defense mode.. starting the “theres something i dont like about her”

See... unique... not always a blessing but it serves its purpose. I spent years working on energy.. cause i hated the karma & the backlash id score that wasnt mine.

Im going a little off topic but.. the whole ide is to show you that i have spent over 1000 years discovering who & what i was. Because this SOUL MATE has been the only person who ever made me feel like home.. i knew i was in love, he was all i could ever think about, so much so that it started causing me distress & i referred to it as being a virus thats infected my brain...

id spent years, learning about alchemy & the whole process of turning lead into Gold.

& To me... he was my GOLD.. my TREASURE

I wanted him so bad, & i was that determined to have him that I worked on myself to be better, i mean what a blessing... who can actually say that they went from TOXIC to almost PURE in such a short time.I gave up drugs which id spent most of my 20s on, alcohol which id started when i was 13 & cigarettes which i also started when i was a 13year old kid..

See my point about “SPECIAL”

I saw what he truly was & i wanted to be with THAT one.

He brought out the best in me & id never had someone add so much value to me. We spent the last 6 years on & off, we both struggled with loss & our darkness & shadows we hide feom people, not out of shame, we do it because we dont want to subject you to the “hell” we carry so to speak.

Its the Aquarius in us both, is why we do it..

See my twinflame has an Aquarius mars, this is your driving energy, although hes a Taurus hes driven by the behaviours of an Aquarius (i dont think hes fully aware of that)

So for us in our story of “crazy” i am the Masculine & he is the Feminine.

Aquarius is a masculine sign & Taurus is a feminine sign.

Now the part back to where i tell you the realisation about how i am .,,,

A DIVINE MASCULINE

In astrology Mars & The Sun are masculine signs, although the Sun represents the self, even for women. These are the Masculine personal planets. Venus & the Moon for the Feminine & the path of the alchemist is marriage between these energies..

MAGIC

Saturn is the lead that is supposed to be turned into Gold, which is represented by the Sun.

So how the fuck am I supposed to turn SATURN- LEAD into THE SUN- GOLD!!?

Twinflame marriage is an alchemical union.

A marriage is work, it takes years, its a process off transforming trash into treasure... its a purification process... so when you meet someone who has such an imact on you spirtually that they create change in the physical.... i can tell you that theyre pretty fucking incredible.

He doesnt get my fascination with him, i not entirely sure he even knows his true worth?

Would you like to hear how we are right down to the atomic element that we are “a pair” ???

Taurus which is a fixed EARTH sign, in its galactic size is referenced to as the EARTH, mother earth, he is the Feminine sign after all.

Aquarius which is a fixed AIR sign, & in its galactic size is referenced as the primordial god of the sky, HEAVEN. So does that make heaven masculine? Haha..

So alchemically we are the union of

HEAVEN ON EARTH..

So now ill let you in why i am a divine masculine & not just a regular masculine.

My twinflame initiation was my intiation into “GOD CONSCIOUSNESS”

I no word of a lie saw light in my soul mate & it drew me in like a moth.. & now do yo uwant to hear the best part.. human beings cannot carry rays of light only Angels can & humans certainly cant see heavenly light with their eyes.. so how did he carry the light & how did i see it.. ??

Thats the life force of God, it was my twinflames job to bring God into the consciousness of man... & what better way to do it that through an Aquarius who is connected to the collective consciousness.

(This is how we sparked a mass “twinflame” awakening)

The 11:11s that you see, is a group conciousness behaviour that affects the whole heard. (Google it,) Its a collective awakening to higher consciousness. The 11 is individuation process & is also reresented as the 11th gate higher communication which is ruled by Aquarius. Its why URANUS is the planet of awakening, we shock you 😂

& iv probably opened your eyes to some wild shit in this story already..

So back to why im DIVINE.... (i know it sounds so egotistical)

My Sun placement in astrology is in the sign of Aquarius, but what you dont know is that its degrees is at 13, which in numerological language is a karmic debt number, this is a duty you have carried over from previous lives.

& what you also dont know is that both my Sun& Moon are placed in the 5H which is ruled by leo.. i know i know, how does that make you divine.. well it doesn’t really, not on it own anyway. The 5H is what is called the house of KINGS royalty is born from this house. So in a previous life, i was infact, a real KING. I was also a Knights Templat too but thats a whole different story.

God gave me this title.. took me almost 40years to learn it, but i got there, because it was my lifes purpose to find the value of myself because i attempted suicide, my karma was “learn the value of yourself & why your here” i also learned to see the true value in others aswell. So i was put on earth to empower other people so they can attain their level of self worth.. their importance.

Now for the work it took to reach this level, i cant divulge the whole story..

but my journey was a story that start from HELL TO HEAVEN.

God/Jupiter sent me to HELL, to learn a valuable lesson, & he gave me the spiritual “curse” a shaman awakening.its refered to as DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL, & at that point i suffered soul loss. A disconnection to the self.

& all shamans are given a helper spirit on their journey; turns out i get LILLITH.

Shes one of the 7 kings of hell for fuck sakes... see why being born in the 5H played an important roll in why it was lillith who was selvted to be my guide. Because my feminine was so depleted i was living feom my toxic masculine element, only a QUEEN can raise a KING to his royal throne.

So i had a demon raise my masculine to element to a knight who is of service to the rose line.. daughter of the rose, the ansectral sectets of Mary & Jesus... I suppose you could say... that this is all part of the insanity

my twinflame mirrored back DIVINITY... divinity was in my consciousness because i had been iniated as a high priestess... means ya know some shit.

So a twinflames job is to nirror back your consciousness, it just so happens that i saw HEAVEN - home.... in mine.

I died.

& it as my own masculine element that raised my feminine to her divinity. & once my moon became royalty...

I was born on a dark moon at 18 degrees Which means iv spent alot of my life attracting darkness..

my ex partner projected his lillith wound which is Aquarius 5H which became the reason i was able to acess the psyches templates.. she was my living archetype of my moon.. my consciousness just brought her to life.

So my Feminine (moon) was already a KING that’s how im whats refered to as elemtionally intelligent... i subconsciously rule the shadow & the emotions that are connected to the Sun.. i just wasnt connected to my sun (the self) i lived from my Mars sign.. so i wasnt always aware of My divine masculine title.. i spent 13years working on my Mars placement, which is how long i spent in actual HELL.

This entire time i was at war with SATAN/Saturn. Who is lead remember.. So how do i turn Satan in Gold? Become the shadow of humanity, obsorb pure evil

3 x SATURN SQUARE URANUS transits this year..

Round 3 is christmas Eve..

YOU KNOW HOW I KNOW THAT IM NOT AFRAID ANYMORE..

i know iv alrady won... iv beaten SATAN..

beacuse Aquarius is both URANUS & SATURN..

Satan is me... its mu shadow i carry around with me, its the darkness that surround the star & the only reason an aquarius is the only sign that can weaken a leo..

SATAN disconnects you from THE SUN (yourself) (God) this is the taken of the SOUL..

I know iv won, because iv spent a lifetime fighting myself to know that the reason im so intense & full on?? Is because i carry the spirtual battle between HEAVEN & HELL..

Aquarius rules over the zodiac not Leo... & tgis is why..

Uranus in Taurus is transiting my 8H of death rebirth, marriage, loss, other peoples finances

& it just so happens that i have CHIRON 8H TAURUS..

THATS MY UNIVERSAL SOUL RETRIEVAL as a shaman & by absorbing all the darkness, I bring you the light..

I transcended Venus & 13degrees lucifer & became the “light bringer”

Now my Mars venus Sun moon are all one big happy family..

I know iv won... because iv already fought the shadow of humanity once before..

i know GOD is here & surrendered my battle that i once feared for my life, i predicted id died this year or the beginning next year..

But i know he has my back... hes already showed up for me personally 3 times in my journey, disguised as tests..

& also i have nothing left to loose.. Im not afraid to die, which makes me DANGEROUS Im fearless in my fight with Satan.

NOW THATS HOW YOU DO SHADOW WORK

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

Akka 🔥🦂THE DARK PHOENIX🦂 🔥

PLUTO 1H SCORPIO

**thats my tale how i transcended pluto & can use it as a personal planet.. & can peer right into your soul..

a person can only meet a person at the level theyve met themselves...

& thats how i turned Lead (saturn) into GOLD (self)

YOU HAVE NO IDEA OF THE DARKNESS IV TAKEN FOR YOU SO YOU CAN LIVE IN THE LIGHT

A SPECIAL THANKS TO LILLITH 🖤 for scaring the life back into me.

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